How to “Dirty Talk” Without Being Awkward

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It just doesn’t have the same effect—and that’s because hearing certain words or phrases can be a major turn-on. But while porn stars may have no qualms about uttering filthy phrases during sex, many of us regular folk tend to blush at the mere thought of saying such words out loud. Even the phrase “dirty talk” sounds shameful or bad. If you’re the one who feels awkward or cringes at the idea of talking dirty yourself, but you find it hot when others do it, know that learning some tips for exactly how to talk dirty can help. “That discomfort may just be a reflection of the fact that you lack experience saying things aloud, without a filter, or intentionally to titillate a partner,” says LGBTQ+ expert and counselor Kryss Shane, LMSW.

“I love how you look at me when we’re together, it’s so hot!”

You’re feeling so alive in your body and stringing together a sentence is nowhere on your mind. While talking dirty seems to come easily to some people, for the rest of us, it can feel (extremely) awkward and unnatural—especially when we first get started. It’s all about the delivery.One of the secrets to great dirty talk isn’t just what you say, but how you say it. Try to keep your voice low and the delivery slow (without, you know, sounding like you’re trying to impersonate someone) to build the anticipation. This also helps if you’re still feeling a little shy, since it’s often easier to whisper something than to say it out loud (not to mention the fact that apartment walls can be pretty damn thin). It’s no secret that dirty talk is a really sexy thing.

Dirty Talk During Sex examples

If you’ve never engaged in dirty talk, it can feel uncomfortable and awkward. But with time, you can become much more comfortable with it. Dirty talk helps arouse and stimulate particular senses that are sometimes overlooked during sex. I have collected 409 dirty talk examples and quotes to get some inspiration for the erotic and naughty talks. Essentially, provocative language is perceived as sex through suggestion.

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When you get to the part of the scene where ice will be used in the scenario, you can ask them to put the ice on them,” says Hauser. “When learning to walk, we fall over, again and again and again, until eventually walking is easy. Sex is a skill and when we start any skill, we get things wrong, and that’s ok! Knowing which dirty things to say to a girl to turn her on will be useful for so many reasons.

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You can take inspiration from porn or movies, but be sure to give it your own twist. Think about what turns you on and create a list of words, scenarios, or fantasies that arouse you. Then place your personal touch, including moans, groans, and the ubiquitous “YEAH?! YEAH!!” exchange to make your sexual talk genuinely resonate.

  • First of all, being told what to do in bed is dangerously sexy and they’ll likely feel inspired to blow your mind even further.
  • Before getting started, I encourage partners to take time to discuss their sexual boundaries, wants, and desires.
  • As simple as it might look in movies and porn, in real life dirty talk doesn’t always flow off the tongue quite as easily as it does during those steamy onscreen couplings.
  • Don’t pressure yourself too much—you don’t need to go full throttle and talk throughout your entire sex session, after all.

Lastly, she warns against the use of disrespectful language or pressure, as this can take away from the experience entirely. She also advises people to stop things if they are unsure of the non-verbal or verbal reactions they garner from the experience. Stating that it is best to ask for clarification and consent if this occurs. That’s why we’ve gathered insight from 5 (s)experts to help us break down what you should say to get them (and yourself) going.



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